Happy New Year

New Year's Eve. Woooo.

I'm not tired. I guess I slept a lot during the day yesterday, but whatever. It's more the fact that I have a lot on my mind.

I don't get people.

They are stupid and make no sense. (Most of the time)



I hate it when people are fake. Or put up an act. Or act differently around certain people. Especially when they are cool to start and then act all douche-y around some of their friends.

And it is rather obvious.

Like, it annoys me to no end. But it also makes me question them. If I can see them putting on a show with those people; how do I know that our interactions aren't just another version of the same fucking sitcom?


And then my problem is, do I talk to said person about this? Are we good enough friends for me to bring this crap up?

I don't know.


- - - -

Another thing,

Now, I'm going to be vague here. Just heads up.
I don't feel like confessing everything to the internet right now. Plus I am slightly paranoid about who might read it. Not that anyone reads this haha. But that's a good thing.

In this chapter, there are some guys.
Guys I like. Guys I want to like me.

Timing. Timing is the issue here.

Do I ask if he likes me? I lose control that way.
Do I tell him I like him? Because I fully believe nothing is going to happen and I tell him this and how I just needed to tell him to get over him.
But knowing myself, I will secretly keep a torch.

Ever hopeful; that's me.


Or are things actually progressing and saying something would ruin everything?


Then there is the, I feel like you like me one.
And I want you to like me. But selfishly.




Ya know, I am never sure who I am writing to on here.
I know I want fucking specific people to read it. But not because I'm like, "Hey, wanna check out my blog? (Hint-hint)" I just want them to find it(?) But nobody just finds this haha.

And then the problem is, if I tell people and I know certain people have access. I can't write honestly. And I have to be vague, Which is annoying to have to work around sometimes.





It has been an interesting New Year's.