Swearing helps.

I just feel dumb.

mad at myself.

for...having these stupid thoughts of, false hope.



it's annoying.

and embarassing.

and.... frusterating.





but then, at the same time;

one little act,

a few words,

and I'm smiling to myself uncontrolable.

on the long walk home,

and a few days after even.









but now I'm thinking,

would I just rather be done?



....maybe.







I don't have very strong will power when it comes to this though.





fuck.

[Transfered from Myspace blog]

I think I might be the only one in the world that knows....

That Jon is DEVIOUS!!!!!







he really is!!

no one believes me!!!

>< ughhhhhhh

[Transfered from Myspace blog]

Mind implosion >< .

I don't like serious.
I don't do well with serious, conversations or otherwise.
so, I makes jokes or do anything to keep things light and fluffy.
I like light and fluffy.

I like to be prepaired.
I like having a plan and knowing exactly what I'm going to do and not be tripped up by surprizes.
I like set times and dates.

I don't know what to do.
I don't know how things are going to go.
nothing is set, nothing is planned, nothing is easy.
it all scares me.

I don't know why.

but at the same time,
I don't want to be one of those people who miss out on things 'cause they're scared.
and I know this, all of it.

I really just don't know what I want to do.

[Transfered from Myspace blog]

You learn something new everyday.

Current mood:indescribable

I'm really no good with words.

I'm not.

I never quite say exactly what I mean too. and I give up on conversations fairly easliy 'cause I know what I say wouldn't be what I'm trying to get across.



people seems to have me pegged.

"oh, that's Whitney, she's just like that"

"oh, that's something Whitney would say"

"I expect Whitney to say something mean"

you might not notice it, and I didn't until recently, but people seem to do that to me a lot.



I don't think it's right.

yeahhh yeahhh....

a lot of it's true.

I'm kinda mean to people. but most of it is in jest.

but really, I like people who are nice.

genually, nice.

I'm a sucker for nice.

what can I say? ><







I just don't think most people see that.

[Transfered from Myspace blog]

Frustrated.

Current mood:discontent

Can't sleep.

need to, 'cause I have important stuffs to do tomorrow, but can't.

I have too much junk on my mind.

just a lot o junk.



like, all of my flaws. little things. like being jealous sometimes when it's totally unnecessary. or how I'm like putty in some people's hands.

it makes me mad.



but I don't....no, I can't talk to people about it. nobody.

except for oddly the internet.

go figure.

but then again I'm only hinting at what I'm thinking so it's all good. it's mostly for me anyway.



anywho.

I'm really not an open person. and I don't like that. but it's hard for me.



I wanna change. be different. be better. be me.

just a slight change, it won't be major, you might not even notice.

but i'm going to try.







maybe.

[Transfered from Myspace blog]

I’m a good kid.

You know what I hate?



When you find out that some of your friends aren't the good kids you thought they were.

It makes me sad.

Don't be dumb guys.

and don't litter!

[Transfered from Myspace blog]

Just Venting.

Lately,

I've just been so...... mad.

at myself.

mostly.

at stupid people, who aren't really stupid, but I'm mad so now they are.



I want to swear all the time.

at no one.



I want something.

but I have no clue what that is.

and I doubt I ever will.



Oh, I forgot.

And the best part is,

I have no one to share this crap with.

And even if I did, I probably wouldn't.



People are too wrapped up in their own junk.

Nobody really listens.



This is dumb.

And...... and..... blogging is dumb.

Everything is dumb.

yeahh.

[Transfered from Myspace blog]